This past week was full of joy and new beginnings. I started two new jobs, had my first spiritual direction session with Greg Jehanian (the bassist from mewithoutYou!), and began membership classes at my church. While I'm full of joy and gratitude, I find myself missing Nick more than ever. A collage of photos from our first year dating. I miss sharing my joy with him. He celebrated everything I did and supported me through all the challenges. I miss his commentary, insight,

The past two months were the darkest, most difficult time of my life. Following my husband Nick’s death, I faced uncertainty and unwelcomed change. My once clear course with my first mate was now a solo survival mission. Survival grew harder each day as the reality of his death set in. I noticed his absence in the big and little things. Worst of all, I found myself in a trauma cycle of lingering on Nick’s suffering -- the suffering that led to his death and his suffering at t